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Stars from those shows you've been meaning to watch lay down the rules for spoilers

Don't spoil this show, jerks.
Don't spoil this show, jerks.
Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images for AMC

As someone who got "The Walking Dead" spoiled for him this week (thanks a lot, Internet), I appreciate this effort by cult TV icons via College Humor to lay down the law on spoiler rules:

I may be known to regularly break Rule #6. Sorry friends. I'll try to be better at providing a spoiler-free world from here forward. (I also ruin things for myself with Rule #7 a lot.)

The stars laying down the rules in the video include stars from "The Walking Dead," "Battlestar Galactica," "Dexter," "True Blood," "Heroes" and the ultimate show with people still whining about spoilers/promising they're going to watch super super soon, "The Wire."

The rules:

1. Spoilers cease being spoilers two weeks after the standard episode, two months after the season finale, and one year after the series finale.

Standard Episode = Two Weeks
Season Finale = Two Months
Series Finale = One Year

2. When recommending television, general enthusiasm is permitted. Pointed enthusiasm, however, is strictly forbidden.

3. Spoilers spoken in Pig Latin, gibberish, or French, will still be considered spoilers. Mandarin is OK.

4. In conversation, if the up-to-date viewers are in the majority, they may ask behind viewers to leave. If the two groups are equal, they must roshambo for dominance. If the first two rounds end in a tie, the groups must engage in a last-man-standing knife fight.

5. During the 24 hours after a show airs, aka "The Red Zone," both up-to-date and behind viewers agree to be especially vigilant regarding spoilers.

6. Any sentence prefaced with any variation of the following phrase: "OK, so this isn't really a spoiler, but..." will not only be automatically deemed a spoiler, but the person uttering said phrase will not be allowed to speak for the next 45 minutes.

7. Viewers shall seek out information online at their own risk. A spoiler alert is considerate, but should by no means be expected.

8. In spite of all these rules, an up-to-date viewer spoils a show for you. You may spoil something for them in return. Revenge spoilers shall be limited to the medium of the original spoiler.

(Hat tip: The Mary Sue)